august fifth twenty twenty four.
this entry covers the capricorn blue moon on july 21 until the leo new moon on august 4th. it is the first entry posted from my ipad too so lmk if it is formatted crazy style and i cant tell. im becoming hyperaware of the generational differences between me, who had laptop computers throughout school, and my brother (3 yrs younger.) who had an ipad. i come across many roadblocks with necessary software because it can tell im on a mobile device, even when im using the desktop version of the site. (*cough*FAIRE*cough*). maybe i would be better at navigating around it had i used one through school, though.
8.4.24
Leo new moon this morning.
The last couple of weeks have existed within the time it takes for a flipped coin to hit the ground.
I hope that days like these passed truly come but once in a blue moon.
A stark contrast from my observation of the natural world around me. I can't see that right now. I feel dramatic, writing and telling how I feel. But I am dramatic. In general, and especially right now. To be dramatic is the manifestation of a life of passion, a heart well used. For better and worse.
8.2.24
I need to get a fucking mattress first and foremost. Every morning I wake up in a panic attack with my whole body shaking. Although I am physically able to move I can't get myself to. I tremble and count my pounding heartbeat until I fall back asleep.
It was my Venus return (10 h Leo) on the day shit hit the fan, July 26. Mars is at opposition. (Natal 2nd sag; transiting gem 8. {neale is a gem moon} ) Jupiter {gem 8 h} is opposed my natal Pluto ( sag 2nd, conj mars )
I'm not an astrologer by any means, simply an observer. This info felt like I would appreciate it when I look back once I know more.
This time of year is always turbulent for me in some ways. for better and worse.
8.1.24
I can't observe anything other than pain and self pity right now. Also, the smoke from the wildfires.
I can enjoy music again, truly, outside of the car or the gym for the first time in years. I wonder if cigarette filters were once made out of cork and that's why they usually have that orange speckled texture.
Life lately has me googling shit like “saddest jazz musician”. I remind myself that home is wherever there is grass to sit upon.
7.28.24
Earthquake today in Gardiner at 2:50 pm. Somehow didn't notice. Asked my mom about it and she didn't know either at first, but then asked me when it was if it was around 2 or so. Said she thought dad was like closing the basement door. I think i was outside walking around, don't know how I didn't notice. Guess im in my own world right now.
Water ebbs and flows, comes and goes. sometimes higher, sometimes lower. Sometimes weaker, sometimes stronger. Necessary and often taken for granted. The forces that decide its presence and nature at any given moment are barely describable, only defined through observation - and the desire to make sense- of the effect. The most unchangeable element. No matter what you add to it, the innate nature of Water remains.
Fire has to keep burning to exist, or it will go out, and require much greater effort to restart than if it had been fed to begin with. It exists to consume, only to consume, and will grow as big and bright as resources (fuel, space, breath) allow. Once it has gone out, it is gone.
7.26.24
The Mountains welcome me home with clear skies and open arms. They missed me. The ocean will miss me too, I can feel her cool waves wash over me even now. I will miss her more, above all else.
7.25.24
Today when we let the chickens out, no eggs. Emily went back into the coop right before we shut the door and was making I'm gonna lay an egg noises so we left her in there for a little bit. Then, when we came back an hour later to let her out there were two eggs again! Guess Emily just lays two eggs a day.
7.24.24
Emily laid her first egg today! I’m surprised it's her, she seems very small and young still compared to the rest of the chickens. There were two in there so she must have laid the first one yesterday.
7.23.24
Woke up around 6, by 7 it was doing driving pouring rain. Cold enough I'm wearing a sweater to Jilly’s.
There is a confirmed anhinga here, maines first. Crazy. I remember seeing those in the Everglades. Maine has had a lot of warm weather migrants here, including a tropical kingbird and little gulls. Neale says it's because of the rising sea temperatures. The Stellars Sea Eagle that lives in Newfoundland now, and has since 2021 I believe, has been photographed building a nest and today I see a photo with a bald eagle. fascinated to live and watch the birth of a new species.